Loose Ends
by knightshade
Summary: Jack knows it’s not about him anymore. And he knows the only thing he can do to help Carter is try to tie up the loose ends. Post Divide and Conquer.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Loose Ends  
Author: knightshade  
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing  
Spoilers: _Divide and Conquer_

Summary: Jack knows it's not about him anymore. And he knows the only thing he can do to help Carter is try to tie up the loose ends. Post _Divide and Conquer._

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Stargate. They belong to MGM and Gekko Productions, among others. No copyright infringement is intended. I like to think this is fair use, but that has yet to be proven in court.

Author's Notes: This takes place post _Divide and Conquer_. It's a little bit shippy, but not very much. It's more about Jack dealing with all the fallout.

Thank you very much to Twitch who was kind enough to turn a very fast and helpful beta on this.

**Loose Ends**

Jack watched as Freya climbed the ramp to the Stargate, carrying that infernal machine of hers. Well, actually, it was Anise, and therein lay a problem for Jack. He was tired, raw, and desperately hoping to tie up the loose ends before everything came unraveled on him. He'd been hoping to catch Freya alone before she left, but she'd been surrounded by a steady stream of people. Besides which he really didn't want to ask Anise if he could talk to her host.

The treaty signing had been an anti-climactic half hour and then everyone had filed out. The rest of the Tok'ra delegation had left, taking the body of Martouf with them, which left Anise at the top of the ramp alone. As Jack watched, she bowed her head, closed her eyes, and became Freya.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Yes?"

"Do not worry. I understand. I have spent some time reading about Earth customs."

Jack raised both eyebrows, wishing, not for the first time that the Tok'ra weren't so damn cryptic. Although in this case it was probably a good thing. He'd told Daniel about the incident with her in his quarters and the guard had seen them together. It was a plausible explanation for her comment. Hell, he wasn't even a hundred percent sure she wasn't talking about that. But she could have meant that she knew about the regulations and wouldn't talk about what he and Carter had been forced to say. Here was hoping anyway.

Jack mustered a smile. "That's … great. Uh, see you when we see you, I guess," he said, silently hoping that wasn't soon. He couldn't help feeling a little bitter about what she'd put him through, especially when the za'tarc had ended up being in the Tok'ra ranks.

Freya nodded and then disappeared into the gate, swallowed in the blue wash before it snapped apart and disappeared like so much expended energy.

As soon as she was gone, the last of the aliens to leave, Hammond held up his hand to get everyone's attention. "I'm sorry, people. I know it's been a long and difficult day, but I'd like to get a quick debriefing in before we call it a night."

---

The briefing room was uncomfortably quiet and filled with an uneasy tension. Jack was sitting next to Teal'c and across the table from Daniel and Doctor Fraiser, but he was doing his best not to look at either of them. The last person to arrive in the briefing room was Carter. She had slipped out of the gate room as soon as the Tok'ra had taken Martouf's body. Jack was sure she'd gone back to her quarters to change into fatigues that weren't stained in his blood. Now she sat quietly, her face pale and drawn, her arms resting listlessly on the table. Jack tried to catch her eye, but she had taken her seat without looking his direction. He tried not to take it personally -- he knew Carter's thoughts weren't on him -- but it still stung.

"I'll try to keep this as brief as possible," Hammond said. "I just want to get the details down while it's still fresh."

There were nods around the table.

"Okay, first of all, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, how was it you were both cleared of being za'tarcs?"

"We didn't realize we weren't giving the full story about the mission on Apophis's ship, sir," Jack said, jumping in before anyone else had the chance. Carter was the smart one, but he had years of involvement with covert operations and classified projects. He always had a cover story in the back of his mind, ready to throw out when he needed it. It was habit more than anything else, but sometimes it came in handy. And right now he wanted to be the one to cover for them. That way if it ever came out, he could take the fall for lying.

"We were both briefly knocked out when the armbands fell off. When we started coming to, we were aware of things that were going on, like Jaffa marching in the distance, but not consciously. Those memories were in our subconscious minds, so it looked like we were leaving things out."

Jack could _feel_ Teal'c not looking at him. Dr. Fraiser was a different story altogether though. She was giving him a dark glare from across the table.

"And how did you figure this out?" Hammond glanced at Fraiser but Carter jumped in.

"When Dr. Fraiser was in the process of sedating me, I started to remember some of the missing pieces."

Nicely done, Jack thought. She was telling the truth. It was only the pairing of her truth with his lie that made the whole thing a misdirection. Not that he really thought it would amount to a hill of beans if they were called on the carpet for this, but it was something at least. Maybe Carter would just get a dishonorable discharge instead of a long vacation with him in Leavenworth.

"I somehow managed to get across to Dr. Fraiser that I knew there was a problem and she stopped the sedation." Carter's voice was uncharacteristically toneless and Jack felt bad that she had to do this now, after everything else she'd been through today.

Hammond looked in Janet's direction and Jack waited on pins and needles to see what she was going to do. "Major Carter was pretty well out of it, sir, but she managed to tell me that they'd lied without knowing it, and that the machine was wrong. So I brought her out of sedation and stopped the procedure on the colonel before it was started."

"Carter told me what was wrong, Anise retested us, and we both came out clear of za'tarc programming, sir," Jack finished, resting his elbows on the table and fighting the urge to fidget.

Hammond glanced around the room. "Well done, people." Jack studied him for any sign of suspicion or disbelief. It was encouraging that the General seemed to have accepted their story, but it was way too early to be breathing any sighs of relief.

The briefing shifted to the events in the gate room and Jack put in his two cents before listening to Carter's description of events very carefully. Her voice was hollow and tight when she recounted shooting Martouf. Her eyes were locked somewhere in the middle of the conference room table and Jack wondered, not for the first time, how much Jolinar's feelings affected her. If it was as much as he feared, then she had to be a mess inside, no matter how well she seemed to be handling things right now.

The briefing was thankfully short, as Hammond had promised. When he dismissed them, Jack followed Carter out. He caught up with her in the hallway, but stopped, suddenly feeling awkward. Jack wanted to _do_ something but he just didn't know what. A hug seemed in order, but given the circumstances he wasn't sure that was a good idea. He found himself holding back, leaving more space between them than he might otherwise. "Are you okay?"

"I will be, sir." She didn't quite meet his eyes. Close, but not quite.

"You did what you had to do, Carter. There was no other option."

"I know, sir."

Jack knew she didn't really believe that. Not yet. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Thank you. I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to get some sleep."

He nodded, feeling awkward and fairly useless. "Okay."

She turned down the hallway toward her quarters and Jack was helpless to do anything but watch her go. He wanted to head back to his quarters too, hole up there, and lock out the world. He wanted to escape all of this, but he knew he had things to do. Taking care of this mess was probably the only thing he could do right now to actually help Carter. With a sigh, he turned to look for Dr. Fraiser only to find her headed his way, striding with purpose.

He wasn't the only one looking to have this conversation.

"Colonel, can I have a word with you?" she asked, professional sounding to the core, but he could see the cold fury in her eyes. This was not going to be a day at the park.

"Sure, doc. Your office or mine?"

"Mine, if you don't mind."

He mustered a weak smile. "Sure thing."

-----------------  
To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

Jack and Dr. Fraiser walked down the corridor together with miles between them, her shoes clacking against the floor with each step. Jack steeled himself, mentally preparing. Dr. Fraiser opened the door to the infirmary, and led them into her office. She closed her door firmly and professionally, but slammed the clipboard she'd been carrying onto her desk with a loud clack. It took some doing, but Jack kept himself from jumping.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Colonel?" Janet asked, her voice brisk with cold.

"Protecting my team," he answered, matching her tone precisely. He knew she wasn't afraid to go toe-to-toe with him.

"Is that what you'd call it?"

"Yes."

"Well, from here it looked a lot like withholding information, creating a false report, insubordination …"

"Withholding?! Withholding what? It's personal. And private!"

"I don't think so, sir. That would be all well and good if it were just between you and Major Carter, but it's not. You brought two other people into this, Colonel. You're asking me and Teal'c to agree with your account of events. If I leave things out of my report that makes me culpable in helping to conceal a relationship –"

"It is **not **a relationship!" Jack's temper flashed. "It's feelings! That's it! And there are no rules against having feelings. Not even in the Air Force!"

"Well, if that's the case, Colonel, then why hide it from General Hammond?" She pursed her lips and tilted her head, pressing home the point.

Jack's jaw snapped closed and he crossed his arms. "Because you know as well as I do that Hammond might blow it out of proportion and split up my team."

"Blow it out of proportion?"

"Yes, damn it! There are regs. We're not going to break them."

"No offense, Colonel, but you aren't exactly a strictly by-the-book kind of person."

"No. I'm not." Jack glared her down and then slowly said, "But Carter is."

Janet didn't move, but he knew he'd gotten her attention with that point. He let out a slow breath. "And I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her career."

Janet softened her tone a little too. "I'm sure that's true, but Colonel, you and the major have feelings for each other. The regulations exist for a reason. Have you considered that maybe you _should _be split up."

"Oh, for crying out loud. We're both professionals. It won't be a problem."

"It already is, Colonel!"

"How!?"

"The fact that you have feelings for each other changes how you make decisions and throws off the balance of your team. You made a decision today to undergo a risky procedure that could have resulted in your death or disability based on a hope that it would help Sam."

"That's the not the full story and you know it. We were both faced with nothing but lousy choices. I took the best of a bad lot! Yes, I hoped it would help her, but that wasn't the only consideration."

"Okay, but you said yourself that on that ship you would rather have died than lose her."

"So?!" Jack realized he was shouting and even though there was no one in the infirmary right now, he needed to try to rein it in.

"Can't you see how that changes things on your team, to have one member whose life you value above the others? It's not fair to the rest of them to have one teammate you can't deal with losing."

"I would have had a hard time leaving any of my team there! Teal'c, Daniel, Carter -- it doesn't matter!"

"So if it were Daniel behind that force shield you would have stayed too."

"I don't know! It didn't happen that way!" He was getting frustrated, confused. "Besides, there are always going to be people you care about on any given team more than others. Maybe it's because you went to the same college or your kids play baseball together or hell, you just click! It's not fair, it's not the way you want it to be, but it's _human nature_, Doc!" Before he realized what he was doing, Jack was in her face, pointing a finger at her.

She glared back at him holding her ground.

Jack dropped his hand, stepped away, and started pacing to let off some of his steam. "Besides, it's not like anyone would have known without this little incident."

Janet's voice was level, almost coldly so. "That's not true, Colonel."

Jack stopped and slowly turned back to her, trying to contain the panicked, exposed feeling that bubbled up into his throat.

She crossed her arms and stared up at him. "I started to suspect that something like this was brewing when you were trapped on Edora."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on."

"That's the God given truth, sir. I asked Major Carter about it. She denied it, but I didn't believe her."

"You honestly thought that we had feelings for each other?"

"Yes."

Jack didn't want to believe that. He wanted to think that he had kept his emotions private. But a small part of him was pleased to know that someone else had seen those emotions in Carter. "What tipped you off?"

"It's probably because Sam and I are friends, but it was pretty obvious when she wouldn't give up on finding a way to bring you back."

Jack's anger flared again. "What's wrong with not giving up?! She was trying to find a way to rescue me!"

"She wasn't going to let it go."

"And how is that any different from Teal'c volunteering to go through a horizontal gate, buried under God knows how much debris, attach himself to the cavern ceiling, and hope to dig his way up before the air ran out?! With Teal'c it's okay for him to risk his life against insane odds because we're brothers-in-arms, but if I do the same thing for Carter or she does it for me its cause for suspicion? Why?! Just because she's a woman and I'm a man?" He pulled up and stared at her, deeply frustrated by always having to be so damn careful about what he said or how he reacted or how much he _felt_. "We put our lives in each other's hands _all the time_. We all have strong feelings for each other. How can we not? If you can tell me how to keep my feelings strictly business-like under conditions like that, feel free to let me in on your secret. I'm all ears!"

"I don't know, Colonel. But you said yourself that you care for her much more than you're supposed to."

Jack closed his eyes, feeling concern and confusion and hope all jumbled together in a painful knot. He just didn't know which way was up anymore. "What do you call someone you're willing to die for? Does 'friend' or 'coworker' really cover it?" he asked, the anger leaving him.

Janet crossed her arms and looked down at the floor. "I don't know, Jack. But I don't think you're the only one confused."

He let out the stale air he'd been holding in the bottom of his lungs. "So where does that leave us?"

"It leaves me in a very difficult position."

Jack sensed an opening and tried to soften his stance enough to get through it. "If it becomes a problem, you have my word I'll fall on my sword. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you out of it. But I'm not ready to give up my team over this yet. We're both professionals. We can handle this."

"Do I get any say in when it becomes a problem?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and giving him a look most school principals would envy.

"Yeah. I guess that's fair." Her career could be on the line too.

"Okay," she said, her whole body posture giving in. "Look, Jack, I'm not trying to be a hardass. I just don't want to see anything bad happen. To any of you. And certainly not if it was the result of something I was aware of and didn't do anything about."

He closed his eyes, feeling at least a little relieved. "I know."

"I'll write the report so that it's as vague as possible and doesn't contradict anything you said in the briefing."

"Thank you."

Jack turned and retreated from her office, through the infirmary and out into the hallway again. He ran a hand through his hair and headed toward Teal'c's quarters wishing he could just go to bed instead. At least he'd faced the worst of it. He didn't think talking with Teal'c would take nearly as much out of him as his argument with Dr. Fraiser. He was about to knock on the door when Daniel came around the corner.

"Jack, hey. I was going to go check on Sam, but when I knocked on her door, she didn't answer."

"Yeah. I talked to her briefly on the way out of the meeting. She said she was going to try to get some sleep. It kind of sounded like she wanted to be alone."

"Do you think she's okay?"

"I don't know," he answered, truthfully. "I hope so."

The door to Teal'c's quarters opened. "I, too hope that Major Carter is alright."

"Hey, Teal'c," Daniel said solemnly.

Jack wanted to talk to Teal'c but certainly not with Daniel there. And he was suddenly hit with the absurdity of the situation – running around trying to cover up the fact that he'd admitted to having feelings for someone he worked with. If it weren't all so raw and close to the surface, he'd have to laugh about it. But right now he couldn't take anymore. Jack wanted to bury today under a layer or two of bravado. He needed to. "You guys want to go out. Get a drink?" he asked not knowing he was going to say it until it was already spoken. He really needed to get out of this damn mountain. And really, he didn't have to do this now. It wasn't like Teal'c was known for running his mouth off.

"I do not drink—"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't drink alcohol. I know. You can drink … water or something, Teal'c," Jack said, just eager to get them to agree and start moving. "The point is to get out of here for a while."

"In that case, I would be honored to join you."

"Yeah, I'm in too," Daniel said. "Give me a minute to grab a jacket."

Daniel disappeared around the corner and Teal'c gave Jack an eyebrow.

"Not now, Teal'c. Okay? Just not now," Jack said, relieved to get a slow head nod in answer.

-----------------  
To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

The bar was just what Jack needed. Three beers and three slices of pizza later, and he was feeling at least level again. Maybe not great, maybe not all together, but stable. The buzz of the beer was helping to dull the effects of the day and hanging out with Daniel and Teal'c off-duty was always an experience. It had taken them a while and much bargaining to agree on toppings for their pizza. Jack had picked pepperoni, Teal'c wanted green pepper, and Daniel wanted _avocado_. Judging by their drinks, they should be in three different bars. He had his beer, Teal'c was drinking water, and Daniel was on his second glass of red wine. It was amazing they could even be a team much less spend time together. Yet here they were, the camaraderie of doing what they did brought them together. And hell, they couldn't talk about it with anyone else.

"So what happened with Freya, Jack?" Daniel asked, munching on another piece of pizza across the table.

He looked up, surprised. "Nothing."

"Really? Well at least she didn't seem too upset about you turning her down when she left."

Jack felt a deep unease creep into his stomach. "I tried to turn her down nicely, but we haven't talked since then."

Daniel shrugged. "It's not every day you get hit on by a woman that good looking."

Before Jack could answer, Teal'c turned to him, looking startled. "Freya caused you bodily harm?"

"Huh?"

Daniel figured it out first. "Ah, no. 'Hit on' is a figure of speech. It means she expressed her interest, romantically."

Teal'c's eyebrow arched as he turned to Jack looking even more surprised.

Oh for crying out loud. " _She_ hit on _me_ . Not vice versa. And I turned her down."

"I see," Teal'c said, turning to stare forward again.

Daniel lifted his glass. "I don't know, Jack. She's gorgeous. I'm not sure I would have let her go."

"Daniel, she's a …" he stopped, glancing around the bar. It was mostly empty, but it still wasn't the best place to be discussing top secret information. "Member of a certain snake cult," he said under his breath.

"So?"

"So, I don't trust them. If you're so keen on dating someone with a snake fetish, why don't you date her? The snake likes you anyway."

"Well, that would make things complicated – Anise liking me, and Freya liking you."

Jack stared down into his beer. "It's complicated enough trying to get it right with one person," he said chasing beads of condensation down the glass. "Besides, it was her machine that caused most of this mess. I just love how they always seem to think they can treat us like guinea pigs when they didn't even have their own house in order first."

"In all fairness, Jack, the first…" he trailed off and glanced around the room fishing for a word."

"Agent?" Jack provided for him.

"Yes, the first agent was one of us."

"Yeah, well, they still should have made sure it wasn't in their ranks before putting us through that. I'm getting tired of having pins stuck in my head and having my subconscious probed," he said in a whisper.

"I'm sure they realize that. It's not like they had much of a choice after what happened with Major Graham. Besides, they knew it was an issue. That's why they didn't display the memories."

"Oh how very considerate of them," Jack said bitterly.

"The only people present were fellow SGC personnel, O'Neill, many of whom had to undergo the procedure as well. I am certain that everyone who witnessed the outcome was aware of the private nature of the information."

Jack couldn't look at him, afraid of what he would see. He looked down at his drink instead. "Maybe. But being a guinea pig is getting old."

"What you did today took great courage, O'Neill. Both you and Major Carter handled a difficult situation admirably," Teal'c said, causing Jack's heart to miss a beat. He really didn't want to have this conversation now. Especially not in front of Daniel.

"Yeah, Jack. I've got to say that I don't know that I would have been able to risk that procedure. I think I would have gone with the sedation and hoped for the best."

Jack had to remind himself not to breathe an audible sigh of relief. He hadn't realized there could easily be multiple levels of meaning to Teal'c's statement and Daniel assumed he was talking about going through the anti-za'tarc procedure. He didn't know what Teal'c was really talking about. "I guess getting knocked out indefinitely and hoping for the best didn't exactly sound like my kind of party."

"Still," Daniel said. "I don't think I could go in there and get strapped in after seeing what happened to Lieutenant Astor."

Jack took another gulp of beer, then he poked at the little puddled ring of water around the bottom of the glass. "I guess it might have looked like I had a choice, Daniel, but I really didn't. It's not brave, it's not courageous. I did what I had to do, that's it."

"You and Sam both," Daniel said, eyeing the red liquid in his glass. "I hope she's okay.

This time Jack did let out a sigh. "Yeah, me too."

"I believe that Major Carter will eventually move past this incident," Teal'c said finally. "She is strong of character as well as mind."

Jack hadn't really heard Teal'c talk much about Carter before. He knew Teal'c respected her, but he rarely said as much out loud. Of course, he rarely said much out loud to begin with, but Jack got the impression that it was for his benefit again. Was Teal'c trying to tell him that he approved of Carter? Jack's head hurt and he didn't want to have to interpret everything that Teal'c was saying.

"I think that's a lot easier said than done, Teal'c," Daniel said softly.

"Indeed. But Major Carter is strong," he said, then slowly panned his head toward Jack. "Warriors face different kinds of battles, O'Neill. Both internal as well as external. Courage is simply doing what must be done no matter how difficult or frightening. Both you and Major Carter were true warriors today."

Jack couldn't answer. His insides were squirming and suddenly the beer was no longer appealing. He appreciated his friend's support, but right now he was beyond ready for this day to end. "Thanks, Teal'c," he finally managed. Then Jack pushed his nearly empty glass aside. "It's been a long day. You guys ready to call it a night?"

There were nods, the scraping back of chairs, and general commotion as they dropped a few bills to pay and left the table. Teal'c positioned himself between Daniel and Jack, letting Daniel get ahead. "You do not have cause for concern, O'Neill," he said in the softest voice he could probably muster. "I do not understand some of the Tau'ri rules, but I do not believe the things said today constitute a problem."

Jack nodded slowly, avoiding Teal'c's eyes. "I hear what you were saying." He let out a slow sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"It is my honor to be a member of your team, O'Neill."

Jack nodded to his friend as they headed out into the Colorado cold. "Teal'c, the honor's all mine."

---

Jack lay on an Air Force regulation mattress in Cheyenne Mountain regulation quarters, staring up at the military specification gray ceiling. He couldn't sleep. He just couldn't turn his brain off and even the air in the quarters seemed stale and oppressive.

He'd wanted to go home, get away from the SGC, sleep in his own bed tonight. He'd thought about dropping off Daniel and Teal'c, jumping back in his truck, and beat-feeting it home. But in the end he'd pulled the truck into his parking space. He had to stay at the mountain, at least for the night. Carter was here. And he wanted to be here just in case she needed him.

He'd handled the things he could handle, he'd smoothed things over, he just had to convince himself that everything would be okay. Let it go, put it out of his mind.

It would be okay. This wasn't a problem. He had to believe that.

Jack rolled onto his side and balled the pillow over his head.

They were professionals, they could handle this.

------------------  
-knightshade  
March 26, 2007


End file.
